The Return is Upon Us....

After 6+ months of trying the relocation thing, it's time to return to Minnesota. The fiscal idea of it is just not working out as we intended. Not only that but I'm finding it harder and harder to be away from my kids but also when I last saw them I was very unhappy of the state of things. Yeah, they are cared for in the basic ways but it's not the same. Of course, I'm not going to go back and immediately demand for them to live with me, as some believe. I'm not that kind of person. I do, in fact, have their best interest at heart. I have a job interview this coming week in Roseville. Shockingly, the first I've had in the past 6 months. Ironically, it's not here. But alas, there are many things barring me from finding a decent position. Licensing and all that which I'm sure I could bore the death outta anyone who would passively listen to the details. Plus, it's time to put all of the tools and things I've learned about myself to the task when I'm faced with the same situations that have in the past emotionally stymied me. I've missed being in a lab and feeling like a proper part of society. It's been a passion of mine that has been missing this entire time. I'll miss the mountains out here. The feeling in the air that has a slightly different electrical timbre as the air in Minnesota. I'm not barred from returning to this place of course. Not in any manner. I've been a very good girl while out here. But I worry. I worry about what is to happen in the future. I'm about to take on an even more frightening journey than I ever have. This path I've tread before. Starring down into the eyes of the irrational and delusional and daring not cringe. I'm sure it sounds all intimidating when dressed up in such frilly text. But it's the fact that I look at. On a side note: Seeing just how delusional, irrational and down right dysfunctional one entire group of people can be has made me appreciate just how awesome my own family is. Sure, we have our issues. There are lots of them, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not so bad. Of course I am not speaking about the people out here. All and all it has been a culturally pleasant experience. If not for the fact that money is required to live and that my children's happiness is wholly my main focus, I'd stay. Man, this whole thing seems so convoluted. It really is, and it's not. I'd love to blame the fact that I am in fact a paradox on my own. I've lost my train of thought. I guess I'll just sum up. I'm moving back to Minnesota in 4 days. The paladin is finishing out his teaching contract and will be joining me in a few months. As far as what's going to happen with the kids. We shall see.....